Michael Dowe

Michael Dowe |my•kull dou|

- rhymes with "cycle cow"- noun -

1. comedian

2. writer

3. paramedic

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Be patient. Those better days only come when you make it through the night.

Still Single -
Her: So he asks if I want another round. I say ‘No way, José,’ then he scowls at me?!
Me: Yeah, pretty sure he’s called Chuy.

Just discovered it’s possible to get a lighting-aura migraine within my dream. Like Inception, my dreams have tense situations and no boobs.

hueyfreemanonlyspeaksthetruth:

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, I rise I rise I RISE - Maya Angelou

Like deserts miss the raain

The other bathroom is “Hens.” It took longer to realize than I’d like to admit.

Chinese zodiac potty and full bladder do not mix.

archiemcphee:

Today the Department of Marvelous Makeup pays a visit to London-based hair and makeup artist Laura Jenkinson, who has fun using her talents to transform her own lips into playful depictions of all sorts of pop culture characters, ranging from Shrek, Mr. T and Cartman to a host of Looney Tunes and Disney characters. We love how she even turned herself upside-down to accommodate the long face of Wallace from Wallace & Gromit.

Follow Laura Jenkinson’s Instagram account to see many more of her creative cosmetic transformations.

[via WHUDAT]

(via irkaygeeaye)

Raising the roof and saying “Pinot” is the last preparation for the coming of Gozer.

Twerking to “Cab Sav” will bring forth the Destructor.

“I’m realizing that you didn’t have to faith with me” is a wholly inappropriate gospel lyric.

And this is coming from a recovering Baptist.